Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Do I want the life that's up ahead or the one I left behind? - September 4, 2013

Everyone should serve a mission. 2 months ago, I did not realize just how much I would learn. As a missionary, you need to work with people, and a lot of times it can be difficult. You must work diligently to study more than you ever have, whether you are learning a language or not. You hold meetings and are involved in leadership responsibilities. You learn to not waste any time, because the mission is not about you. Selfishness cannot exist within a successful missionary. A missionary learns to get out of bed when he thinks he can't. A missionary works constantly until she drops. As a representative of the Lord, you must be respectful and dignified. However, I have never laughed so much as I have on my mission. If we are sharing the plan of happiness, shouldn't we live it?

I have learned as a missionary to rely more on the Lord than ever before. If we didn't do that, we wouldn't make it. Our families, friends, and normal lives are put away for a little bit right now. When you are a disciple of Christ, you put away your own name to wear His on your heart. My life before the mission will always hold a special place in my heart, but I am not here to live my old life as Aubrey. It can be difficult at times when I miss my old life; it was easier, more comfortable, and certainly not as scary as this is. However, I like to think of a quote by Richard G. Scott: "To reach a goal that has never been obtained, one must do things that have never been done before." He also said "to get from wehere you are to where God wants you to be requires a lot of stretching, and that generally entails discomfort and pain." These words give me hope that through these difficult challenges I am facing, I will obtain things I never have before and be stronger than ever before.

Christ lives. With all the miracles I have seen the past month, how could He not? I testify that life is too difficult to go through without him. Why fight what happiness and hope He has to offer? My mission will forever be an experience that has changed and refined me. I know without a doubt I will be more successful in the professional world, as a mother, wife and disciple of Christ because of these 18 months. I want to share a poem that I feel really reflects what it is like to be a missionary:

Behind or Ahead

As I stared out the window, the tears till in my eyes
I see the vision of those I loved as we had just said our last goodbyes.
The ride was long and tiring; two questions plagued my mind:
Do I want the life that's up ahead, or the one i left behind?
Two years is such a long long time; going door to door.
In my reflection I thought to myself, "There really must be more."
Well, I dragged myself down off the plane and smiled at the Brazillian rain,
when a man turned me the other way, saying, "Elder, go and find the stray."

It is reflecting once again, you see, as this day is my last.
Please Lord, it isn't fair; the time goes way too fast.
As I stared out the window, with tears still in my eyes,
I saw Elders, Sisters, and friends I love as we had just said our last goodbyes.

The road was long and tiring as two questions plagued my mind:
Do I want the life that's up ahead or the one I left behind?

I used to become somewhat emotioinal when I read that first part of the poem, because I love my old life and I always will. But now, after coming to love this country, people, language, and work, I cannot bear to think of leaving. Thank you all for being a part of my life; past, current, and future. I love you all to the moon and back. Keep pressing forward; try a little harder to be a little better. Have a great week.


Sister Sperry

A letter sent in response to my letter to Aubrey.  We had just put our dog Brandy down, who we had had for 14 years...most of Aubrey's growing up.

Hey Daddy,

I have tears in my eyes because i just read your letter about Brandy. I know you're right that she's in a better place now, but it sure is sad to think about her not being there anymore. Did she seem scared at all? I hope she felt it was okay to let go and feel no pain. I'm sure her and Grandma are having a good time.

I leave next Tuesday for RP! I cannot wait, but i'm extremely scared at the same time. It's a weird feeling. I don't want to leave the CTM yet i have the "senioritis of the CTM'" as my district calls it. So today is teh last p day here, and the last wednesday, and the last pizza night (which we always have on wednesdays.) I had my last devotional last night here. We will have a lot of lasts and a lot of firsts in the next week. It's a mix of emotions for sure.

I LOVE my scripture cases. They are BEAUTIFUL. i wrote you a missionties email about them that i will send later today. I can't thank you enough for thsoe!

About missionties, i'm really not sure. When does the subscription end? does it go by month? WE can just finish whatever month we're on and then wehn i get to the mission i'll find out how mail works. I have really appreciated it while here at the CTM, but i think you're right about it possibly being less efficient once i get to the field. between the two of us we'll figure it out.

Love you lots, i am gonna go write my family email now! Thanks for everything. If i have time in about 10minutes i'll email again!

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